Captivating relationships: Ways to elevate your social life
Debra: It’s so stressful and puzzling for me to see my own “willful ignorance.” I’ve failed to understand what was keeping me stuck. Once I elevated my relationships, I only finally recognized that an elegant life is about the details.
Debra’s story is an important one. I coached Debra and documented her story as I witnessed her transformation. If you’re similar to Debra and want to keep the momentum going on your newfound self-image, you may need to change your relationships and your social life.
I help high-achievers and influencers refine their signature style and change the world by lavishly leading with their own style. Over my almost 20-year coaching career, I have learned that our relationship with our signature style impacts all areas of our social life. As one who leans introvert, I know firsthand the power of using personal style to elevate one’s social life. Like myself, Debra changed her signature style and in the process transformed her social life.
Here I will share two ways to catapult your newfound signature style to the next level.
Social charm
Elevating your social charm is more than social media. How you do one thing is how you do everything; thus when you use your signature style to cultivate your social charm it impacts your life profoundly. Cultivating your signature style naturally elevates your charm and deepens your social circle.
Social charm and style matters seem unconnected but in reality, are intertwined. If you’re unsure just what your style is and where you want it to take you, your social charm will fizzle and feel difficult. Empowering social charm comes from embodying your signature style.
I’ll share a personal example.
Recently, I flew to Indianapolis to visit the Harrison Presidential Home and have dinner with friends. I had a lovely trip, met a lot of new people, and enjoyed invigorating conversations.
When traveling, anyone can talk to you on an airplane, for example, but what I repeatedly notice in my travels is that it the conversation that elevates the connection. Your social charm—how you show up (digitally or in-person)—matters. It is the kinds of questions you asking in conversation. What you talk about. The way you style your tone of voice. You cannot impact how someone will ultimately interpret your social charm, but when you are at your best, you will be profound.
An elegant social charm starts first with the relationship you have with yourself. Consider the messages your stories are saying about your own charm. Are there times you feel that you are being disrespected? Maybe you feel that the most important people in your life treat you like a doormat?
Social charm, how others respond to you, starts first in the relationship you have with yourself and your style. Believe it or not, but your signature style is an expression of your inner world and is driving your social charm, how you show up, your worldview, and ultimately how others interact with you.
If you are underwhelmed by your social interactions and relationships, then take a deep look at your style. Is your style expression aligned with your true essence? If your signature style is not aligned with your essence, then your social interactions will be stale and certainly not elegant.
It is too important to come to terms with your own style stories. What are the stories you tell yourself about your own style? Your social charm is by-products of elevating your style stories. As a style coach, I elevate my own social charm each day by mining my stories and sharing them in my style community. Unpacking my own style stories and fostering elegance is an ongoing journey. I am very open with my style community as I learning and growing with them.
Affluent worldview
High achievers and influencers have purchasing power, but an affluent worldview is one that goes beyond finances. An affluent worldview, or affluent mindset, is about viewing the world from an expansive perspective.
Purchases, on the other hand, are a short-sided expression of affluence and can even be a form of self-sabotage. Too many times I’ve witnessed people buy designer accessories hoping it will change their self-image. As a style coach, I know that the “purchase approach” is futile. Style is not about possessing a certain item. Style is holistic, and it is cultivated by expressing yourself in a way that is both elegant and timeless.
Understanding the relationship between your worldview and your signature style requires mining your image and baring, or uncovering, your beliefs. Baring your beliefs is also known as self-coaching. Being fully conscious of your beliefs and being aligned with them in your style not only will change your signature style and how the world engages with you; it has the power to change your entire life.
Know that your worldview reveals your thoughts and feelings about yourself. When you expand and live to the edge of your worldview, you expand your style because they reflect each other. In other words, what you focus on grows. It is the very reason I love supporting my clients in reaching their signature style goals. I delight in watching the process expand their perspective as they develop an affluent worldview.
In conclusion, evolving your newfound self involves elevating your social charm and cultivating an affluent worldview. These are two self-coaching approaches anyone can use to become more charming using their signature style as a tool. I have seen the power that these approaches because I teach these issues, and many others, in-depth in my style community and one-to-one coaching program.
These signature style components and the relationship you have with yourself have the potential to open up opportunities in your life in seemingly magical ways.
Photo by Anthony DELANOIX on Unsplash